Thursday 28 May 2020 by Runi Talwar

Hong Kong protestors considering inviting Dominic Cummings for visit so people might start giving a shit about them again


Hong Kong to invite Dominic Cummings

Thousands of Hong Kong protestors have come together to formulate a new plan to invite UK APM (Actual Prime Minister), Dominic Cummings, to a tour of the city, in an effort to attract international attention to its plight.

Hong Kong, which has been in the middle of a political crisis over the last 12 months, has seen protests re-ignited over the last few days, after lawmakers introduced a controversial series of bills that would make it illegal to undermine the Chinese government’s influence in the region.

Despite an initial outpouring of sympathy and attention from the rest of the world, the protestors have seen their cause take a back seat in recent months, with news of the deadly coronavirus taking up most of the airwaves. However, they now believe they’ve figured out the perfect solution to make sure everyone starts talking about them again – invite Dominic Cummings to visit them.

“It’s actually one of the best ideas we’ve ever had,” said one anonymous protestor.

“We’ve been fighting for our very existence for months now, but it seems like no one cares about anything any more unless there’s a documentary about it on Netflix.

“All of a sudden though, it seems like EVERYONE is talking about Dominic Cummings. And I mean EVERYONE. I was talking to some protestors the other day – one of them just escaped from a secret torture facility the police have been using. Even HE couldn’t believe Cummings would do something so callous and uncaring, and then NOT resign.

“So we all decided, what if we could get him to come here? I mean, it would be really easy to get him here – we’ll just tell him the rest of the country isn’t allowed to come here, and he’ll do it without a thought.”

The protesters are hopeful that not only will Cummings bring with him an international spotlight, but they might also be able to utilise some of his political acumen for their own cause.

“Beyond just having everyone finally remember that one of the most important democracies in the world is on the brink, we can also use the opportunity to learn from Mr Cummings.

“After all, if there’s one person who could get China to finally Leave, it would be him.”

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