Wednesday 6 May 2020 by Arabin Patson

Tory ministers suddenly stop using the term ‘world leading’ for some reason


Dominic Raab reluctant to use phrase

The recurrent, if utterly meaningless, phrase that no conservative politician could refrain from using for over a year has mysteriously vanished from the UK’s political vocabulary for reasons that the press has not yet been able to establish.

Simon Williams, the political editor for the Daily Telegraph, was utterly perplexed as to why the current crop of jingoistic politicians suddenly seemed rather coy when it came to comparing Britain to other nations.

He told us, “It was the quintessential Tory soundbite. It was chest-beating, yet meant absolutely nothing. We could brag while never quantifiably being the best at anything which, let’s face it, we’re not.

“You could say we are world leaders at anything at all and never be held to account. Want to say we are world leaders at origami? No problem. Some British paper folder must have garnered a smidgeon of peer respect in that area and, voila, it’s technically true.

“But now it’s radio silence as soon as anyone asks what currently distinguishes us from other countries. It’s really odd.”

Whereas some radical activists on social media claim that the government was desperate not to draw attention to the fact that the UK now had the biggest COVID 19 death toll in Europe, Mr Williams remained sceptical the two things were linked.

He went on, “That’s just PC nonsense. No, it’s probably due to a scientific adviser resigning because he travelled across London for a boink.

“Has to be that. A typically British story about naughty nookie. We’re all going to be alright. Boris will see us through won’t he?”

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