Friday 24 April 2020 by Mark Molloy

Man genuinely missing the hours spent walking all the way around IKEA at weekends


Bored man missing walking around IKEA

A man has revealed today that he is genuinely missing spending most of his Sunday afternoon walking around IKEA with his wife looking at candles and bookcases which he neither wants or needs.

Carl Allen a 43-year-old Plumber from Oldham told us “I used to hate IKEA. Fucking despise the place. Normally, anyway.

“The wife used to somehow find a reason we had to go there almost every single weekend. I don’t know how she did it, but every Sunday we would end up traipsing around the fucking maze of a place, looking at billy bookcases and light fittings for about three bastard hours.

“But now, my God I’d snap your hand off for a nice stroll around IKEA. I can’t believe I am saying this but I really do actually miss the place so much.  Every corner was like the opening to a new adventure, one full of exciting possibilities.

“I just want to be able to amble through the bedroom area testing mattresses. Or maybe stop off for some meatballs before moving on to the kitchen department to see all the different ways you can store the knives you don’t yet own.

“And then to finish the day, I’d have to spend some time with the candles, I could walk around there looking at candles and fake plants for hours now, if I only had the chance.

“I swear to God it’s the second place I am going to go when all this is over. After the pub, obviously!”

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