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Britain’s millionaires and billionaires have very kindly taken time out of their busy schedules to reassure peasants throughout the country that there is nothing to fear from Britain leaving the EU without a deal.
“Even if the worst projections come true, Britain will recover and will come back stronger than ever before,” said one such billionaire, hedge fund manager Sir Morris Dancer.
Speaking from one of his numerous London homes where he was celebrating being awarded a knighthood or something for once brushing past Theresa May in a corridor, he continued, “Alright, it may take a couple of generations.
“But if you had passed your exams and got yourself a job in the city and gone to Eton then you’d be better prepared to weather the storm, wouldn’t you?”
There were supportive words also from multi-millionaire business bastard Toby Carvery, who said, “By making a clean break from Europe, myself and others like me can continue to avoid bothersome EU rules and regulations which prevent me making more money, and the greater my personal wealth the more money trickles down to the plebs in the street. ‘Trickle down’, see. It’s been proven and everything.”
But aren’t they worried that a no-deal Brexit could impact on their own business interests?
“No. I’ve moved all my business interests out of Britain,” said Sir Dancer, “and I would advise all the little people out there to do the same. Just in case.”
So it would seem that, despite all the fear-mongering, there is nothing for working-class oiks to fear from a no-deal Brexit after all.
If Britain’s morally irreproachable millionaires and billionaires say so, then it must be true.
The definitive Brexit Venn diagram – get it on a T-shirt here!
