Tuesday 27 August 2019 by Arabin Patson

Europeans keen to boycott Brazilian products as soon as they can think of any


couple want to boycott brazilian products, but can't find any

As international outrage escalates over the destruction by fire of huge swathes of the Amazon, a growing number of people on social media have taken to asking for a boycott of Brazilian products, and also if someone could identify these that would be lovely.

The boycott has seen decreasing sales of Brazilian coffee, pubic hairstyles whose appeal is best not discussed, all-you-can-eat meat restaurants, outstanding football players and the occasional summer hit that uses an accordion for some reason.

Simone Williams, a sociology lecturer from Brighton, said that she was keen to use her purchasing power to hold Bolsonaro to account, but did struggle to find out what she should avoid.

“I thought I would do the obvious and stop buying Brazil nuts but it turns out most of those come from Bolivia.

“I wanted to make a gesture and not go there on holiday but the truth is I wasn’t going to anyway because who the fuck wants to listen to gunfire from the slums while they sit on the beach?

“I saw on the news that they are the 9th or 10th biggest economy in the world, but what exactly do they sell? It’s not like anyone listens to bossa nova anymore. The only thing I really know about Brazil is footie and those caïpirinha cocktails. Do they make cars?”

Asked about the prospect of a consumer boycott, a representative for the Brazilian embassy took four days to compose a press statement that was both annoyingly indolent and yet also psychotically violent.

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