Trump administration moves to abolish women

author avatar by 5 years ago
NewsThump Needs Your Help

The American government confirmed today that it intends to abolish women as it believes that they are responsible for all the evils of the world.

Via a series of tweets sent from his gold-plated toilet at 2 am this morning, US President Donald Trump stated that “If it wasn’t for women there’d be no such thing as single mothers, feminism or abortions. Just think about that for a moment.”

With abortions effectively banned in several US states and many more seeking to impose restrictions, the angry orange loudmouth continued, “Look at all the fuss over me telling those four Democrat congresswomen to go home. They were all women. If they weren’t, I never would have said it and there wouldn’t be a problem. OBVIOUS!”

The announcement comes a week after Trump addressed a rally of braying meatheads in Texas. Somewhere during his rambling, incoherent speech he stated, “If you examine all the problems in this world – terrible terrible problems – you’ll find that every single one of them is caused by women! Am I right?”

The news was enthusiastically amongst his supporters who started enthusiastically chanting, “Lock them up! Lock them up!”

NewsThump Hoodies

However, not everyone was as welcoming of the President’s plan.

Feminist campaigner Toni Award had this to say: “Trump needs to think again and take into consideration the invaluable contribution that women make to this country.

“Besides which, if there were no women in this country he’d soon run out of wives, porn stars to have affairs with and daughters he’d like to screw.”