A man who was mistakenly circumcised after a routine bladder procedure has been on the receiving end of death threats from anti-Semitic Momentum trolls.
Simon Williams was supposed to have botox injected into his bladder at the Leicester Royal Infirmary to make it more aesthetically pleasing, but woke up with a feeling that his helmet was a bit on the chilly side.
Due to a mix-up by overly penis-focused surgeons, Williams was told, “Sorry we have circumcised you and you now have a cock ring.”
Shortly after the unwanted surgery, the father-of-two noticed two of his friends, both avid Jeremy Corbyn supporters, began acting coolly towards him.
“I first noticed it after a game of badminton down at my local gymnasium,” Williams told us.
“I was in the showers, liberally applying shower gel to my testicles and perineum, when I saw Geoffrey, a Momentum member, staring at my exposed penis and frantically Whats-apping his friend.
“Moments later, I was popping my trainers into my sports bag, when Clive from the Northamptonshire & District Socialist Workers Party told me to get out of Palestine.
“I’ve literally never been further than Calais.”
Some days later, Williams noticed he was the centrepiece of a grotesque mural featuring circumcised men with large noses playing badminton in a circle, while dancing on the graves of Palestinian infants.
He added, “I would get phone calls in the night, but most of them just wanted to know where I got the cock ring.”
John Goodier, a spokesman for the Leicester Royal, said, “We’re very sorry about the incident and for the subsequent anti-Semitic abuse Mr Williams has received and we will shortly be compensating him to the tune of twenty thousand pounds.
“Not that he needs it, I’m sure.