UK Spoof News and Satire

Gary Stanton

Alarm raised as entire UK finds itself agreeing with Gary Neville

The whole UK has been placed at Shock Level 2 after citizens found themselves agreeing with Sky Sports gobshite Gary Neville.

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Priti Patel facing ten years behind bars after causing ‘serious annoyance, distress and inconvenience’

Priti Patel is facing ten years banged up like a slag when her new policing bill is accepted by parliament this week.

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Metropolitan Police announce crackdown on Mothers’ Day celebrations

Following last night’s exuberance at the vigil for Sarah Everard, the Metropolitan Police are gearing up to teach your Mum an important fucking lesson today.

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Six tomato plants refusing to speak to Prince Charles over Harry

Prince Charles’ refusal to take calls from his son Harry has spilled over into the plant world, it has emerged.

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Thank f*ck I’m not Keir Starmer, insists Jürgen Klopp

Out of favour Liverpool FC boss, Jürgen Klopp, is thanking fuck he is not the leader of the Labour Party in this moment.

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Mexico to open its borders to freezing Texans

Mexico is to dismantle large sections of Donald Trump’s ramshackle wall in a humanitarian bid to save Texan lives, which matter a great deal.

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Chris Grayling to conclude ‘Clap for Captain Sir Tom’ by high-fiving all of his elderly neighbours

A small area of Islington will see a surge in Coronavirus cases this evening after Chris Grayling takes part in Clap for the Captain Sir Tom.

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First UK vaccine recipient appears on Bill Gates’ mass surveillance system

The first UK recipient of the Pfizer Covid vaccine has successfully popped up on Bill Gates’ universal monitoring system after a few minor glitches.

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Reclusive Dr P. Shiltoni arrested in connection with Diego Maradona death

Police have arrested a tall Caucasian man answering only to the name of Dr Pedro Shiltoni in connection with the untimely death of football legend Diego Maradona.

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