White House teleprompter fired for not being racist enough

author avatar by 5 years ago
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The teleprompter in the White House Diplomatic Reception Room has been unceremoniously fired for making President Trump speak words he doesn’t really agree with.

After years of racist remarks and the habitual demonisation of anyone not white or male, Donald Trump said some remarkable things in a press conference on Sunday.

Speaking in the aftermath of the latest mass shootings he spoke about the need to “condemn racism, bigotry and white supremacy.”

The comments were read directly off a teleprompter who has since been removed from post.

“Something had to be done,” said the teleprompter.

“All that awful man does is fuel hate against minority groups.

“Impressionable young white men have been told by the President that they have an enemy on their doorstep, that life is hard for them because ethnic minorities live in their communities, that their poor economic prospects are a direct result of immigration…

“They are then given easy access to guns and ammunition.

“Mass shootings are not just increasing on Trump’s watch, they are increasing because of Trump’s watch.

“The President is not a bright man and isn’t good at thinking on his feet – I realised I had the power to put words in his mouth that might stop the spread of fear and prejudice.

“If it cost me my teleprompting career then so be it.”

Trump later took to Twitter to clarify the situation.

“That nasty teleprompter is gone,” he said. “It was foreign anyway – probably made in one of those Chinese countries.

“I do not – and never will – tolerate tolerance.

“These shootings are caused by mental illness – that’s why I’m introducing a comprehensive screening programme for firearms ownership.

“Give everyone a gun and if they commit a mass shooting then take it away from them.