Friday 12 July 2019 by Dan Sweryt

Thomas Cook’s £750m rescue bidders offered extra leg room for only £150m more


Thomas cook rescue package

Fosun, the Chinese investment firm who are attempting to rescue ailing travel agent Thomas Cook for £750m, have been offered extra legroom at the company for only £150m extra.

The travel agent that your parents use because they don’t have the Internet, has found it difficult to maintain a presence on the High Street in the face of increased online competition.

Marketing Executive, Simon Williams, said, “Obviously the basic rescue package is £750m, as that’s how much we need to keep trading.

“However, as with all travel companies, that’s not the end of the story by far.

“Any potential purchasers hoping to get on board early, will face an additional, entirely reasonable £30m transaction fee.

“And if the next owners want the option of selecting their own seats in the Executive Boardroom, that’ll be an extra £200m, especially if they want to all sit together.

“And it’s only an extra £10m If they would like to enjoy a refreshing tea or coffee with their purchase.

“And it turns out we already have a lot of baggage, so if they want to bring more than their allowance, I’m afraid that will also be extra.

“What we can promise though, is that you will not – in any way whatsoever – be disappointed with your purchase if you based it solely on the lovely photographs we included in the brochure, which are a 100% accurate reflection of the business today.”

Any new owners have also be warned there will be a 50% charge for changing the name on the company.

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