Monday 8 July 2019 by Arabin Patson

People who claim they love Europe but hate the EU also really f*cking hate Europe, survey reveals


love europe hate EU

A comprehensive IPSOS/MORI poll on the social attitudes of leave voters has uncovered that people who proclaim loudly that they detest the European Union but are truly fond of Europe and Europeans were lying through their teeth.

The survey discovered that 82% of respondents maintained they had nothing against European but disliked the political institutions of Europe. However, further questioning showed that 97% of these respondents only perceived Europe through a series of unfunny dated stereotypes and “ancient football rivalries” that exist only in their own mind.

Psychologist Simone Williams explained that the findings were not so much an illustration of cognitive dissonance but more the result of a mixture of ignorance and lying through cowardice.

She explained, “To accept their point you have to accept the premise that another group of people is wonderful and loveable but that somehow working with them towards common goals is beneath you because you’re much better than them.

“Some believe this paradox stems from the fact that British tabloids and lazy politicians have blamed the EU for every ill under the sun for 30 years, but that most British people are at heart decent and open-minded. However, once you look into it a bit deeper, it turns out that the people who put ‘Love Europe, hate EU’ on their social media profiles are invariably bigoted halfwits.

“When asked about any European country, most of them are completely incapable of naming more than two cities but all of them will know some tedious football chant about the place. Usually mentioning World War 2.

“Trust me, I wish it wasn’t true. I live with these people.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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