Saturday 6 July 2019 by Hannah Fox

Child abandoned by mother on doorstep of 10 Downing Street told Boris Johnson doesn’t live there yet


Downing street child abandoned

A young boy left on the doorstep of 10 Downing Street to do his homework had been advised by staff that Boris Johnson doesn’t live there yet so there’s no point hanging around looking hopeful.

Abandoned child Jack Williams said, “It was a bit weird. My mum brought me on some protest about schools or whatever, but when I sat down on the steps like she told me, an alarm went off and someone with a badge that said ‘Bastard Response Team’ came out to speak to me.

“He asked who my mum was, but when I told him he said it didn’t matter anyway, I was one of many. He gave me a signed photo of some twat in a blonde wig, a bottle of Bollinger and a letter of recommendation to Eton College.

“Nobody seemed that surprised. I thought it was quite funny and all a big mistake but when I told my mum about it she started crying and ranting on about feckless tory arseholes.

“Anyway, I wish I hadn’t bothered doing my homework, not now I’ve got that letter of recommendation to Eton.”

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