Monday 24 June 2019 by Gary Stanton

John Prescott gives Grim Reaper a firm left hook


John Prescott thumps Grim Reaper

The Grim Reaper has had his skeletal jaw dislocated after a run-in with former Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott.

Ellesmere Port-born Prescott suffered a stroke last Friday, prompting justifiable fears that Reaper might choose to pay him a visit.

However, the Angel Of Death got more than he bargained for from the former Labour man who decided he wasn’t taking any of his shit.

As the hooded figure got within two metres of him, Prescott lashed out with his trusty left hook, knocking the scythe out of its bony hand and sending it crashing to its arse.

Prescott has since received excellent care from the NHS despite the best efforts of the Tory government, a service which saw waiting lists reduced considerably during the last extended period when the country wasn’t being held to ransom by a gang of xenophobic sociopaths, which ended sadly in 2010.

Death added, “I wasn’t expecting him to put up much of a fight, but I guess I underestimated him, like so many have done over the years since he left his Secondary Modern.

“Laugh all you like, but don’t you worry – I’ll be back.

“With Boris Johnson at the helm and a No Deal Brexit looming, I’ll be fucking caning it on the overtime.”

Everyone at NewsThump would like to wish John all the best for a speedy recovery.

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