De Beers diamond company announces move into lucrative pick ‘n’ mix business

author avatar by 5 years ago

Diamond company De Beers has told shareholders to expect a bumper year after moving away from diamond mining and into the more highly lucrative business of dealing in pick ‘n’ mix.

With a value to weight ratio that makes diamonds look like top soil, pick ‘n’ mix has long been the holy grail for any company hoping deal in the most highly valued commodity on the planet.

And finally, De Beers has been able to throw off the shackles of the diamond trade to go ‘all in’ on the most lucrative business of all – pick and mix confectionary.

Consumer rights campaigner Simon Williams told us, “I don’t think the average consumer realises the exorbitant profit margins available to companies who deal in pick and mix.

“Everone thinks that bags of pick ‘n’ mix are that expensive because they’re worth it – but that worth is artificially created by the companies that sell it – there is no intrinsic value in a bag of pick and mix.  You would be shocked to realise how little pick and mix sweets cost to create and put on those clear plastic contraptions.

“It’s literally tiny fractions of a penny – but everyone thinks they’re worth pounds and pounds. And they think that only because the companies like De Beers have convinced you of that.

“It’s no surprise to see De Beers dump the diamond game to finally make some real money.”

A De Beers spokesperson told us, “Diamonds were a mere stepping stone on the way to selling the most ridiculously overpriced objects on the planet, and finally we have arrived.”