The Mayor of London is considering giving Donald Trump the Freedom of the City, to thank the man who has changed him from an obscure figure, known only to a few outside the UK, into an international celebrity with more name recognition than the Secretary-General of the UN.
Simon Williams, the media spokesperson for the Mayor of London, confirmed that Sadiq Khan felt deeply indebted towards the man who transformed his boss from the man blamed for Tube strikes to one of the key faces of the global fight against the far right.
He explained, “The truth is, the role of Mayor of London is rather humdrum. You spend far more time arguing about weekly bin collections than making rousing speeches about the virtues of multiculturalism.
“But now, thanks to Donald Trump, Sadiq symbolises educated tolerant people fighting back against ignorant racists.
“Last year, we could maybe get the Evening Standard to pop in for a chat once a week. Today, I can get Sadiq on CNN with a phone call and have them thanking me for granting them the opportunity. And we owe it all the one man’s complete public breakdown at being challenged by a Muslim.”
Mr Williams confirmed that Trump’s retweets of despised racist Katie Hopkins could be the boost needed for Mr Khan to vie for the top job.
“If Boris Johnson’s rise proves anything, it’s that name recognition is far more important than competence, or even being a decent human being.
“Only geopolitical geeks can name all the leaders in the G20. But everyone around the world now knows the name of a man whose day job is sorting out night buses to Tulse Hill.”