Friday 14 June 2019 by Arabin Patson

Sarah Sanders interested in working for another New York-born truth-avoiding Muslim-bashing adulterer


Boris with Sarah Sanders

London is abuzz with rumours that the former White House Press Secretary has been approached by the Back Boris campaign hoping to capitalise on her unique experience of standing impassively while defending the blatant lies and racist dog whistles of a gaffe-prone boss with a stupid haircut.

Simon Williams, conservative MP for Wiltshire and prominent supporter of Boris Johnson, refused to confirm that Ms Sanders had been asked to join the Boris campaign, but did say she would be a great addition to the team.

“She would be greatly appreciated here in London. We don’t really have a tradition of prominent press spokespeople in this country, but Boris is bringing an Etonian wind of change to our stuffy way of doing things.

“Having one of the world’s experts at standing impassively, while her bumbling employer humiliates her over and over, could work wonders this side of the pond.”

Mr Williams explained that Sarah Sanders’ professionalism would be a perfect match with Boris Johnson’s tendency towards unscripted rhetorical flourishes.

“The people want someone who says what he thinks and doesn’t hide his racist impulses behind sanitized PC speech.

“They need someone who understands leading a nation is about odious speeches, not statecraft. So we could do with someone who can get on a podium and unashamedly palm off colossal fuck-ups as brilliant strategic moves.

“It should be an easier job for her. Trump is very touchy and gets easily goaded into rage-tweeting whereas Boris could not give a toss about what the little people think of him.

“Also, Boris has mastered the art of passing off his pig-ignorance and naked opportunism as the quirks of an eccentric country squire.

“Hey, it’s not his fault if people are stupid enough to buy it.”

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