Liberal Democrats form new breakaway party to escape Chuka Umunna

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The Liberal Democrat party has quit en masse to form a new, breakaway political party without Chuka Umunna in it, it has emerged.

Umunna, who announced he was joining the party this morning, is expected to arrive at his first meeting to find nobody there but him.

“This will be normal for both Chuka and the Lib Dems, so we’re not expecting him to notice for several days that the back door to Liberal Democrat HQ has been left open and we’ve taken all the milk out of the fridge,” insiders told us.

“He might not notice until nobody shows up at our annual party conference, but even then that could just be the usual Liberal Democrat annual conference.”

The new party will be called C.H.A.N.G.E., which stands for ‘Chuka Has Another New Group Exodus”

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“He just didn’t fit in with the party as we knew it,” said former Lib Dem spokesman Simon Williams.

“He’s had a haircut, and his jacket didn’t have leather patches on the elbows.

“Plus people have heard of him, which made us all feel a bit uncomfortable.

“And if he wasn’t prepared to work for one overhyped magic grandpa in the form of Jeremy Corbyn, just imagine what he would have made of Vince Cable.”