Have I Got News For You pulled at last minute after BBC bosses realised Nigel Farage wasn’t on it

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Long-running show Have I Got News For You was pulled from the television schedule at the last minute yesterday evening after horrified BBC bosses realised that Nigel Farage wasn’t one of the panellists taking part.

Nigel Farage, who appears on the BBC so regularly he might as well be the fifth Teletubby, was delighted at the decision.

“Oh yes, it was the right decision not to air the show if I’m not on it, especially in the run-up to the European elections,” he told reporters this morning.

“Thankfully the BBC gets some things right, and they continue to have me appearing on Question Time whenever I want.  There are no impartiality issues there because I’m not your regular politician – I’m a man of the people, as I was remarking to my chauffeur only the other day.

“Hopefully the people at Have I Got News For You will book me very soon and it can get back to your screens, eh?”

There are rumours that the BBC are obliged to have Nigel Farage on as many shows as possible after receiving a large brown envelope from an unnamed Russian contact three years ago; an allegation strongly denied by the organisation.

BBC spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “The BBC wishes to refute, in the strongest terms, the claim that we are being paid by a shady organisation to give Nigel Farage as much air time as possible.

“What actually happened is that they have threatened our families with bodily harm if we don’t give Nigel Farage regular airtime.

“Please, PLEASE, help us! He’s even demanding to go on Antique’s Roadshow now he thinks he’s best mates with Fiona Bruce.

“It’s a nightmare.”