Parliament in temporary lockdown as small shred of decency reported ‘lurking’ in a corridor

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The Houses of Parliament are currently in a state of emergency lockdown, with police and forensic teams combing the area, after an unnamed MP reported that a shred of decency had been spotted within Westminster.

Simon Williams, the senior officer leading the investigation told us that his teams have everything under control.

“Although it is too early to say whether the claim is an elaborate hoax or a genuine threat to the operation of the government, the public can be assured that we will not re-open the area until we are sure that it is safe to do so.”

Should the sighting be confirmed, it will be the first time a complete shred of decency has been seen within the House for a number of years, causing many political commentators to pour scorn on the whole claim.

Former BBC political editor, Nick Robinson, told us today that it was more than likely something much more common that had been caught in a bad light.

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He explained, “Whilst the claim is probably genuine and has been reported with the best of intentions, I find it difficult to believe that, in this day and age, it will turn out to be anything other than a case of mistaken identity.

“It is almost certainly a shard of incivility or a fragment of arrogance, both of which could easily be mistaken for a shred of decency from certain angles.”

Speaking outside of Number 10 a few minutes ago Theresa May said that she was disappointed with the sighting but was confident that the government would be able to resume their activities ‘within 24 hours’, once the threat had been removed.