Friday 3 May 2019

Police confirm that throwing milkshakes at racists is both illegal and hilarious


police find milkshakes thrown at racists illegal

After Tommy Robinson had a milkshake thrown at him – again – police have confirmed that throwing dairy-based beverages at racists is both illegal, and incredibly funny.

As supporters of the gammon-whisperer extraordinaire insist that having a milkshake thrown at him clearly demonstrates that his life is in danger, police have been forced to step in to clarify the situation.

A spokesperson for the Police federation explained, “We would like the remind the public that you can not go around throwing milkshakes at racists and not expect to be spoken to by the police and also lauded for your hilarity by thousands of people online.

“To clarify, throwing milkshakes at racists is illegal, not just ‘frowned upon’ as many people had previously believed, it is definitely 100% illegal, and definitely 100% funny.

“Despite belief to the contrary, things can be both illegal and hilarious. Glueing yourself tits-first to a building in an environmental protest? Illegal and hilarious. Streaking at a football match while overweight and wearing a Santa hat? Illegal and hilarious.

“Throwing milkshakes at racists? Illegal and hilarious. Hope that clarifies the situation for you.”

Members of the public have questioned the clarification, with many wondering if there are circumstances in which throwing a milkshake at a racist could be both hilarious and perfectly legal.

Voter Simon Williams told us, “I dunno, it kinda feels like if I want to approach a member of the public on the street, and start intimidating them on camera, then it should be OK for them to throw a milkshake at me? Don’t you think?”

Meanwhile, those people who are likening the incident to the murder of Jo Cox have been reminded that Jo Cox didn’t go looking for Thomas Mair, didn’t chase him up the street surrounded by her bodyguards, and didn’t do all that while filming him hoping for a reaction – and he didn’t throw a milkshake back at her.

But apart from that, yes, the situations are definitely the same.

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