Thursday 2 May 2019 by Gary Stanton

Witch hunt led by kangaroo court finds scapegoat, insists cock


Gavin Williamson

Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson, is the scapegoat of a court led by kangaroos and other marsupials, it has been revealed.

Williamson, who was fingered over a departmental leak says he has become the sacrificial lamb for a government of headless chickens, in a scandal which has left the public laughing like hyenas and scratching their heads like baboons.

Theresa May insisted she had “compelling evidence” that he was the dirty mole who had ratted to the slavering hounds of Fleet Street, meaning a jury consisting entirely of kangaroos was in the national interest.

As a result, the massive cock may have breached the Official Secrets Act, and with the scales of justice tipped against him, could be cornered like a desperate wolf, grown fat on porridge, and caged like a zebra.

The scandal marks a low point for the political lone fox, who has been out of his depth like a porpoise in a turbulent sea of narwhals since telling the aggressive Russian bear, Putin, to shut up and go away.

Theresa May said, “Gavin has proved himself to be something of a one-trick pony who – due primarily to his own pig-headedness – must take the lion’s share of the blame.

“It was he who let the cat out of the bag and allowed it to scatter the Chinese Huawei pigeons like a bull in a china shop.”

However, Williamson reacted angrily to May’s claims, telling reporters, “The Prime Minister needs a convenient scapegoat, but we all know the elephant in the room here is Brexit.

“She may think she can weasel herself out of this mess, but her ongoing pursuit of a deal is little more than the wild goose chase of a crazed, hungry mongoose.”

He added, “She is the complacent Labrador at the pelican crossing of history, in a nation of racist lemmings bound for the storm-tossed shingle of economic catastrophe.”

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