Nigel Farage unveils the Night King as Brexit Party candidate for European elections

Nigel Farage has announced that the supreme leader and first of the White Walkers is to stand as a candidate for his Brexit Party in the forthcoming European elections.

At a rally in Clacton-on-Sea, the king of the undead told supporters he was standing on a programme of delivering the Brexit the people of Britain had voted for and to eradicate all humanity from the more fashionable parts of London.

“It’s time to put the traitors and enemies of the people to the sword,” the Night King told jubilant party members who had gathered to hear precisely this sort of thing.

“I’m talking about the quisling remainers, the saboteur MPs and I’m talking about Jon Snow – the Channel 4 News guy not the Bastard of Winterfell.

“Nothing can stop us on our march to Brussels, except a determined foe armed with vast quantities of dragonglass – and maybe UKIP.”

The Night King told reporters that he had considered joining UKIP, but that he decided against it when he discovered how unpleasant their current members are.

“When Nigel called I knew this was the party for me,” said the leader of the army of the dead.

“I’ve spent 10,000 years in the Land of Always Winter among the forces of the living dead, which, when you think about it, is ideal preparation for joining an organisation with the demographics of the Brexit Party.”

“And I might have been around since the age of the first men but I’m still one of the youngest in the room by the looks of things.”

At the conclusion of the rally, Mr Farage and the Night King were joined on stage by a hideous and terrifying dragon that everyone thought had perished many years ago, but she flatly refused to talk about her time on Strictly.

Advertisement

Classic BritishComedy tees

Celebrating the best of British comedy from the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond.

See the full collection →