Chinese government insists it will be keen to talk again about Huawei after Brexit

author avatar by 5 years ago

Following the leak of high-level cabinet discussions, about limiting Huawei’s access to the UK’s future 5G network, the authorities in Beijing have said they were not upset and would love to discuss the topic again once Britain is a freebooting nation free from the shackles of a hugely influential trading block.

The PRC spokesperson for the departmental Trade minister Zhuang Dalong said that his government was taking the long view on Theresa May’s decision.

He explained, “We do operate differently here so it’s a bit hard to understand the British system. But our ambassador in London tells us that what Mrs Mary announces does not always come to fruition. Something about her fellow party members being a shower of illegitimate children.

“So we look forward to resuming the discussions about giving full market access to Huawei after the UK becomes a freebooting nation unrestrained by access to the world’s richest trading union or the pesky solidarity that goes with it.

“While we’re at it we will also be talking about access to your fishing waters, buying up your defence industries, returning every single Chinese item held in British museums and automatic enrollment to Oxbridge for the children of our Politburo members.”

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Minister Zhuang also expressed a sincere fondness for the UK.

He added, “On a personal note I would like to praise your amazing sense of fair play. Not many countries would have willfully made themselves so vulnerable and allow us to exact the same humiliating terms you inflicted on us after the Opium wars. Very principled of you.

“Incredibly stupid, yes, but marvellously principled. Sort of like your royals. What could be more British?”