Friday 19 April 2019 by Alex Webster

Crossrail workers mistaken for transport disruption protestors


crossrail workers causing delays

Many Crossrail engineers have been arrested after being mistaken for protestors attempting to disrupt transport and cause lengthy delays in London.

The environmental action group Extinction Rebellion carried out several large protests this week intended to cripple transport links in the capital. Fortunately, this coincided with a further delay to the Crossrail project, which has achieved the exact same thing, albeit at a much greater cost to the taxpayer.

News broke today that London’s latest infrastructure project, an underground rail network, will be over two years late and cost around £3 billion more than expected.

PC Simon Williams was on the scene, “We had been briefed to arrest anyone causing problems to commuters, and sure enough there were people milling around on the track, singing loudly and being abusive towards female passengers.

“We nicked the lot, but it later turned out we’d arrested Paddington station Crossrail engineering team.”

The companies responsible for project management have been charged with Perverting the Course of Progress, Damage to Public Properties in Excess of £3 billion, Wasting Everybody’s Time and Taking the Piss Without Consent.

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