Monday 8 April 2019 by HappyToast

Theresa May reassures nation on Brexit seemingly unaware that everything is on fire


Theresa May addresses nation while room is on fire

Theresa May has given the nation a reassuring Brexit update, seemingly unaware that her house is on fire.

Hoping to reassure voters that she is honouring the result of the referendum, despite extremely challenging circumstances, viewers were left open-mouthed as the prime minister seemed oblivious of the flames lapping around her on the sofa and curtains.

“This is fine, everything is fine,” she told those who watched the video on Twitter.

“The critics will tell you this is a crisis, but I say we all need to take a deep breath and realise that the situation is not as dire as some would make out.

“I am doing everything I can to make sure we leave the EU in an orderly way, with a deal that has the least impact possible on the lives of the nation’s voters. I think we are nearly there and parliament will probably support it at the fourth time of asking.

“I want all of you to know that I have this under control.”

Voter Simon Williams said, “Is…is her glass of water on fire? The woman has proven so disastrous she’s managed to set a glass of water on fire.  This should tell you everything you need to know about the state of Brexit.”

A Downing Street spokesperson defended the video, telling reporters, “Yes, a room on fire is no the most calming sight in the world, but Theresa is very keen to ensure she doesn’t mislead the nation.

“So our position is clear, yes, everything is on fire, but it’s absolutely fine.

“Trust us.”

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