Monday 8 April 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Things weird, report stand-up comedians


stand up comedian

Stand-up comedians have overwhelmingly concluded that all sorts of different things are weird.

“Phones are weird,” claimed one stand-up comedian.

He then went on to explain how people use their phones to browse the Internet, watch TV, listen to music, but, despite the fact that phones were created to allow people to talk to each other, people rarely use them for that activity.

Thus the comedian concluded that phones are, as he initially claimed, weird.

Many other comedians, from smug ones with Madonna microphones on Saturday evening TV to crap ones in the back rooms of pubs who have to go back to their jobs in IT the next day, are making the same claims – that all sorts of things, from crisps to babies, from nano-technology to Coldplay, are weird.

“To be honest, it’s opened my eyes,” said stand-up comedy fan Simon Williams.

“I mean, you just get on with your life, doing normal stuff and you don’t notice that things are weird.

“Like, I was on a bus yesterday and I didn’t think anything of it. But, then I went to see a comedian that evening and she went – ‘buses are weird’ – and I suppose they are, I’d just never really thought about it that much.

“So that was fifteen pounds pretty well spent, really.”

With a huge number of things in the world, it seems that stand-up comedians will have plenty of material for their acts for years to come.

Which is tremendous news for people who enjoy having it pointed out to them that things that they thought were quite normal are, in fact, weird.

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