Theresa May writes to EU to plead for a June 30th extension to her career

author avatar by 5 years ago

Theresa May has written yet another letter asking European Council President Donald Tusk to drag out her career and the Brexit process by a few more weeks.

The Prime Minister has been expected to leave the role for some time, following her triggering of Article 50 getting on for three years ago. But no withdrawal deal has been finalised, despite many other MPs sniffing around for her job.

In her letter to the EU, she says that MPs were complaining that the “impasse [of her leadership] cannot be allowed to continue”, as it was “creating uncertainty and doing damage to faith in politics” in the UK.

An attempt at cross-party talks to shift the blame for Brexit on to Jeremy Corbyn to clear part of her disastrous record appears to be faltering, which insiders say may have resulted in this unexpected correspondence.

A separate distraction technique of installing James Cleverly as Parliamentary Under Secretary of State at the Department for Exiting the European Union is expected to deflect some of the public dissatisfaction, although it is unlikely that he will hold that position longer than a week, as is customary for the post.

If the EU refuses to grant the extension it is believed that Theresa May will begin boarding up the windows and barricading the door to Number 10 while screaming that she heard it is the will of the people for her to remain.