Singer taken off stage at Royal Albert Hall for being ‘provocatively nice to foreigners’

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The deep divisions caused by Brexit have now impacted the genteel world of classical music as a popular singer for London Philharmonic was barred from performing following complaints she had publicly been perfectly civil to a foreigner.

Simone Williams, a highly regarded alto singer, sparked fury among leave supporters by shaking the hand of a Spanish pianist and not once telling him he was lucky to be here or even explaining that it was nothing personal but the country was full.

A spokesperson for the Royal Albert Hall issued a statement defending the decision.

They said, “We take every complaint seriously, regardless of how poorly they are spelt. Several members of the public, who have nothing in common but their gout, told us they were deeply insulted by Ms Williams being kind to a foreigner.

“They felt her actions implied they were xenophobes just because they can’t stop themselves from hissing when they meet someone born outside the UK.

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“Ms Williams had already caused controversy by using her Twitter account to lament her German friend getting a letter from the Home Office telling him he should leave. We are an apolitical organisation. There is a time and a place to treat foreigners like human beings and our stage is not it.”

The decision caused a minor Twitter storm with many remainers accusing the RAH of caving into the mob.

Many also claimed they saw overcompensation in the fact the Philharmonic played Land of Hope and Glory three times and the finale saw the conductor strangling a poodle onstage while shouting ‘Death to Barnier!’