Monday 25 March 2019 by Steve Marlborough

‘Principled’ Brexiters promise to vote for deal they think is terrible as long as their boss promises to resign


Principled Brexiters

Senior Brexit-backing MPs last night proved their love for Britain by promising to vote for a deal they think is bad for the country if it furthers their careers.

ERG members including Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg demonstrated their unshakable principles by offering to vote for something they have twice opposed as long as their boss resigns.

Johnson, who had already shown his suitability for leadership by having a natty haircut, made another impressive statement of his credentials by quoting the Bible in the Daily Telegraph – although he oddly missed out the bit about not committing adultery.

And Rees-Mogg proved he is a man of the people by giving one of his nannies a Sunday off and turning a crucial meeting on the future of the country into Bring Your Child to Work Day.

“These men are giants of modern politics and the future of government,” said an ERG insider after a group of hardline Brexiteers including Johnson and Rees-Mogg held meetings with the Prime Minister at Chequers.

“They are so committed to the good of the nation that they are prepared to cast their vote for the Prime Minister over a withdrawal agreement they have twice rejected as bad for Britain.

“Because really what is important for the country is that these posh blokes are in charge of whatever post-Brexit wasteland they help to create.

“It is what they were born to and what they are entitled to.”

Supporters of a softer Brexit expressed surprise at news of the meeting between the PM and a selection of Tory caricatures.

One senior campaigner said: “I only made a quick trip to the garden centre on Sunday so I would have loved a visit to Chequers.

“But maybe the PM has lost all the numbers from her phonebook apart from the ones marked ‘madmen’.

“That can be the only explanation for the meeting – either that or she’s more bothered about the party than the country”.

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