Jeremy Corbyn storms out of key Brexit meeting due to ‘intolerable presence’ of Jaffa cakes

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A slow media storm has been brewing over reports that Jeremy Corbyn walked out of a crucial Brexit meeting with Theresa May and other party leaders, explaining that he had specifically agreed to come for tea and biscuits and that the presence of Jaffa cakes was an ‘insult to Labour voters’.

Although overshadowed by events in Brussels, the incident has garnered enough attention to make Labour clarify their leader’s stance on snacks and hot drinks. As explained party spokesperson Simon Williams.

“Time and time again this government has lied and gone back on its promises. We told there would be tea and biscuits and then they serve us small cakes with weird jelly inside topped by that crap bitter chocolate. If they lied on biscuits then they how can we trust anything agreed in the meeting?

“Jeremy was not being petulant. A Jaffa cake is not a biscuit, has not gone through intense baking and is simply not entitled to take its place alongside digestives and bourbon creams.

“We can accept the presence of all kinds of biscuits, even horrid ones like rich tea, but we must establish clear boundaries.”

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However, many political experts believe Jeremy Corbyn’s notoriously prickly temperament was the real reason he refused to meet with other party leaders.

Dr Amanda Tinnock, of the Fabian Society, claimed Jeremy Corbyn had a deep seated-resentment of the bite-sized cake.

“It’s well known he can hold a grudge. Jeremy has hated Jaffa cakes since a constituency party meeting in 1993. He is famously seized one thinking it was a chocolate hobnob. Swallowed half of it before he realized his mistake. He has been angry at them ever since.

“Also Jaffa is in Israel, so…..well, you know.”