‘Enjoyed robust discussions’ now officially a synonym for ‘told to fuck off’, says OED

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The Brexit lexicon has once again impacted the English language as the Oxford English Dictionary decreed that the term ‘had robust discussions’ would now be included in its latest edition as meaning the same as piss off, go away, jog on or go choke on a badger’s cock.

As the UK negotiating team in Brussels keeps reporting that the EU’s categorical refusal to renegotiate is just part of a process, the gatekeepers of the English language have explained that every last person in the world knew they had been told to ram their demands up their arse until it made them squeal.

Simone Williams, Professor of Linguistics at the University of Croydon, explained that the inclusion was interesting but not unexpected.

She went on, “One of the fascinating things about the English language is the speed of its evolution. Words get redefined all the time. Nice once meant ignorant. Awful and awesome used to be the same thing. The only criteria for a definition is how the majority of speakers understand the term. So when Theresa May says she has had frank discussions, we all know Michel Barnier told her to skip along and go fuck herself.”

Professor Williams also explained that the Brexit process had been affecting the English language for a while now.

“The whole Brexit process has switched the definition of many terms. Such as ‘red bus’ for ‘blatant lie’. Or how elite now means someone that makes you feel acutely aware of your own ignorance.

“More recently the name Grayling has become a verb to describe taking a simple task and turning it into a catastrophe of biblical proportions while still smiling inanely as if you’re the dog’s bollocks.”