God grateful to General Synod for allowing him have a lie-in on Sundays

author avatar by 5 years ago

The Almighty has today expressed relief at the news that he will be able to have a lie-in on a Sunday once again.

A weekly Sunday service will no longer be compulsory after a vote to change a historic law was passed by the Church of England’s ruling body, the General Synod.

The law – dating back to 1603 – requires priests to hold a Sunday service in every church they look after, which they found increasingly more difficult due to only being in one place at one time.

“Well thank ME for that!” exclaimed our Father, who art always craving a lie-in on a Sunday, hallowed be his weekends.

“For four hundred and sixteen long years I’ve been having to get up on a Sunday morning to hear the English sing at me and pray for more rain or less rain or the same amount of rain depending on the season.”

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He continued, “It’ll be lovely to have a lazy start for once, maybe pop on Sunday morning love songs on Radio 2 and enjoy a nice cuppa overlooking my creation. It is supposed to be my day of rest, after all.

“Here’s an idea – why don’t you just record your services, and then I’ll download them later, eh?

“I have unlimited access to the cloud, after all.”

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