Simpletons getting increasingly giddy at prospect of no-deal Brexit

author avatar by 5 years ago

Frothing simpletons have become increasingly giddy after learning we are just 35 days away from a potential no-deal Brexit.

With just over a month to go, a no-deal Brexit is starting look like a genuine possibility, delighting the sort of people who haven’t thought very hard about this.

“A no-deal Brexit will be absolutely brilliant for this country, for reasons I can obviously not competently explain,” said Brexiters Simon Williams.

“I think that throwing away all of our ties to the EU and reverting to trade with the world on the WTO terms that literally every nation is trying to get away from, is the best possible future for this country.

“Anyone who says no-deal is a bad idea has clearly been left terrified by all the experts saying it will lead to bad things. But as I’ve said all along, you can’t trust experts – they spend all this their learning about stuff and then using that knowledge just to warn us of dangerous things. Clearly they’re in the pocket of someone. ‘Big Safety’ is my guess.

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“Who really needs experts anyway? That’s why I do all my own dental work and won’t let a mechanic anywhere near my car.

“We voted to leave the EU, and it finally looks like the government will be forced to implement the very specific vision of Brexit that I have thrown together in my head after absorbing everything ever said by Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees-Mogg.”

Financial analyst Derek Matthews told us, “There are two types of people who loudly celebrating the prospect of a no-deal Brexit; the very rich and the very stupid. If you’re not sure which one you are, take a look in your wallet.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!