In response to nude protests by anti-Brexit campaigners, Jacob Rees-Mogg has revealed all this morning to reassure voters that they have nothing to fear from going WTO – Without Trousers On.
Speaking from Parliament Square, Mogg disrobed during a televised interview to reveal ‘Strong Britain’ and ‘Brexit means Brexit’ slogans written on his body in dry-wipe marker – leaving Sky New’s Adam Boulton visibly surprised.
“I’m making alternative arrangements to clothes and no harm is being done,” he told viewers.
“And as you can see I’ve got no backstop whatsoever and I’m completely frictionless,” he added whilst turning around and giving the audience a bit of a jiggle.
“And I’d have no problems granting a withdrawal agreement to whoever wants one, so surely now it’s up to the EU to reciprocate.
“I think if we’re all honest with ourselves then we’d admit, deep down, that we’re all a little bit bilaterally-curious. But how can you know for sure if you won’t even give it a try?
“You might find you really like it.”
When pressed on how removing all protections made him stronger, Jacob went on to say that cutting red tape, and any other restrictive elements such as belts, laces and buttons, would set the nation free.
Cameras finally cut away as it became clear Boris Johnson had seen someone getting more attention than him and was racing to the scene whilst pulling his y-fronts off shouting ‘Get a load of my hard Brexit, ladies!’.