Tuesday 5 February 2019 by Chris Hoar

People traffickers, gun runners and drug lords all delighted at news that UK ports will ‘wave through’ goods after Brexit no-deal


smuggling money guns and drugs

Brexiter claims that Brexit will take back control of our borders has been given a huge boost after the announcement by tax chiefs that UK borders will be flung wide open without checks in the event of a no-deal Brexit.

Speaking to reporters, HMRC representative Simon Williams said, “In the event of a no-deal Brexit I can confirm that 20 of our largest ports will simply wave through goods coming in from the EU without checks.

“This is an attempt to avert the catastrophe that Brexit supporters claim they voted for, where the population is forced to scavenge for food in skips and buy medicine for their children in dank allies down the side of clubs.

“It will also be a considerable boost to the economy, albeit the black economy, where we expect a huge uptick in revenue generated in certain sectors, namely people and sex trafficking and gun and drug imports.”

Responding to the news, people trafficker James Gordon-Smyth said, “Myself and my colleagues are absolutely delighted with this announcement. Brexit was all about stripping away red tape and they are certainly delivering on that promise in our business.

“We’ve never been big fans of paperwork, and for too long we have been subjected to crippling bureaucracy such as being arrested and imprisoned when found to be importing human beings.

“The news today means we can now begin to invest and tap new markets without restrictions like the rule of law.”

Also responding, Brexit supporter, Janette Humphries said, “JUST GET ON WITH IT”.

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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