Thursday 13 December 2018 by Chris Ballard

Theresa May to star in British reboot of The Walking Dead: The Dancing Dead


Theresa May the Dancing Dead

With Theresa May still in power but very much on the way out Television producers have offered her a role in a UK-based remake of The Walking Dead.

The Prime Minister has survived a no-confidence vote but her Premiership is now a shambling, decaying corpse. A new TV show will enable Mrs May’s career to live on after it officially dies.

A new version of hit American series The Walking Dead has been commissioned by the BBC. It will actually be a documentary-style reboot which follows a group of people struggling to survive in post-Brexit Britain.

Producer Simon Williams explained the concept.

“Instead of the original’s undead ‘walkers’ the remake will have a horde of ‘dancers’ led by Theresa May,” he said.

“These terrifying, jerking monsters will all be ex-politicians who committed career suicide by totally fucking up Brexit and destroying millions of lives.

“One of the show’s brilliant gimmicks is that the dancers always stalk their prey to the soundtrack of ABBA Gold. The survivors – and the audience – therefore always know when they’re coming and this builds up tension wonderfully as an escape plan is hastily formulated.

“Rather than having to ‘kill the brain’ – as with traditional zombies – the dancers can only be destroyed by being stabbed in the back. This is more tricky than it sounds as it’s not easy creeping up behind something that’s frequently attempting clumsy pirouettes and u-turns.

‘The Dancing Dead’ is currently due to hit screens in 2022 but producers are confident of an early delivery.

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