Thursday 13 December 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Jacob Rees-Mogg to take to the hills and wage pro-Brexit guerrilla campaign


Guerilla JAcob Rees-Mogg

ERG leader Jacob Rees-Mogg has vowed to fight Theresa May ‘to the last,’ even if it means taking a small, trusted band of Brexit shitheads to the hills and waging an all-out guerrilla war.

His pledge came after defeat in a no-confidence motion he led against the Prime Minister because she wouldn’t do what he wanted.

After an evening of licking his wounds and having his hair repeatedly stroked by nanny, Rees-Mogg was in fighting mood this morning.

“May’s going down,” he snarled.

“I’ve seen Red Dawn. I know how to wage an insurgency campaign from the hills. I’ve got good men behind me. Dominic Raab has a brilliant understanding of the geography of our country and Boris has had a haircut.

“We’ve also got little Liam Fox in the inside, pretending to be utterly incompetent to frustrate the entire process Theresa continues dragging us through.

“At least, I think he’s pretending.”

It is understood that Mr Rees-Mogg intends to wage his guerrilla campaign from the hills along the Sussex Downs, possibly near Lewes, as there are some lovely farm shops around that way.

“We’ll hit May where it hurts,” promised a Rees-Mogg supporter.

“Wheat farms and leather trouser manufacturers. These are the businesses that keep her going. If we target them, she’s going to be in trouble.”

Suspicion has been growing that Mr Rees-Mogg plans to take to the hills since a BBC interview earlier in the week where he arrived wearing a bandana, in a flat back truck, and toting an automatic weapon.

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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