Theresa May insists Brexit debate with Jeremy Corbyn should include dance-off

author avatar by 6 years ago

Number Ten spectre, Theresa May, has vowed to win over viewers of a televised debate on Brexit with her kick-ass dance moves.

With the debate having been scheduled for December 9 on the BBC, the British Prime Minister is reportedly spending every spare moment strutting around Number Ten in her dancing shoes and listening to ABBA.

Political commentator Simon Williams explained, “Whatever you think of her policies, Theresa is a fighter and will do anything to win this, the first televised debate she has bothered to take part in. She’s happy to take part in this one because it doesn’t influence a public vote in any way whatsoever, so her performance can be as catastrophic as normal, and it won’t cost her a single public vote.

“At heart she believes in a reasoned discussion of the facts and figures surrounding the possible impact of her Brexit deal, but as she knows deep down that she’s trying to push a disastrous deal through parliament, she understands that she will only be able to win people over by impressing them through the time-honoured tradition of a 1970s style disco dance off.

“She’s confident that she can beat Jeremy in a dance-off, as she believes the only dancing he is capable of is the tender, horizontal kind that he used to subject Diane Abbott to, many years ago.”

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He added, “Come to think of it, the event will most likely end in a draw, as Corbyn is just as useless as she is.

“And not much better at dancing, either.”

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