80% chance a bloke from a market in Stoke is on TV now talking about Brexit

author avatar by 4 years ago

A new study of televised news in the UK has found that at any one moment there is an 80% chance that a bloke from a market stall in Stoke is on TV talking about Brexit.

According to the study, in nearly all circumstances, that bloke will be saying ‘I don’t understand why we don’t just leave’.

“Obviously, this is great news for those people who are fans of blokes from a market in Stoke talking about Brexit,” said Simon Williams, professor of made-up studies at Oxford.

“But for everyone else, it can be a little trying. If you quickly go to check the BBC news channel for the weather or the football results then chances are you will have to wait while a bloke from a market in Stoke explains to a reporter that Brexit is ‘mad,’ that ‘we voted for it two years ago,’ and that he doesn’t understand ‘why we don’t just leave’.”

The study gives no indication as to why no reporter has ever tried to suggest to any blokes from a market in Stoke that the reason we haven’t ‘just left yet,’ is because there are tens of thousands of laws and regulations that are intertwined with the EU and unpicking them and recreating them is a complex business.

“We did ask TV channels why they didn’t do this but didn’t receive a response,” said Professor Williams.

“We can only assume its because they can’t be arsed.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!