Monty Python’s Black Knight insists Chequers plan still alive: “It’s just a flesh wound!”

author avatar by 5 years ago

The Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail has today insisted that Theresa May’s Chequers plan for Brexit is still alive, despite a string of vicious attacks from European leaders.

After President of the European Council Donald Tusk bluntly stated that the Chequers plan, May’s only proposal for Brexit, simply “would not work”, leaving her entire strategy in tatters, the Black Knight insisted, “It’s just a flesh wound!”

This assault was followed by French president Emmanuel Macron also rejecting the plan, calling Brexiters “liars” for telling the public that Britain could easily leave the EU and save money.

This left May’s proposals dead in the water to all serious political commentators, to which the Black Knight replied from the front steps of number ten Downing Street, “‘Tis but a scratch, I’ve had worse!

“The Chequers plan is invincible! It will always triumph!”

And on being told that it was mathematically impossible for the plan to even get through this month’s bitterly divided Tory party conference, let alone a bitterly divided House of Commons, the overly optimistic warrior simply stated, “No it isn’t!”

Faced with crashing out of the EU with no deal, a prospect that has seen dire economic warnings about Britain’s future from everyone from the governor of the Bank of England to the managing director of the IMF, the Black Knight retorted, “Alright then, we’ll call it a draw”.

The Black Knight was last seen bleeding to death, alone, humming Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.