by 
The decision to move the headquarters of the manufacturers of Marmite has split shareholders into two opposing camps, according to reports.
Unilever, who make Marmite, has headquarters in both London and Rotterdam, but announced in March that it planned to have just one HQ located in the Dutch city, causing widespread division among employees and shareholders.
“Well this is the best thing ever,” declared employee Simon Williams.
He went on, “And even though it appears at first that it could leave a bitter taste in the mouths of employees like me that could be facing redundancy as a result of the move, it is a good type of bitter, if you see what I mean.
“So it goes without saying that I cannot see how anyone could dislike this decision, or the delicious implications of the move.”
However, major shareholder Christopher James didn’t hold back in his criticism of the plan, telling us, “Rotterdam? Yuk! That’s totally disgusting. Why would anyone ever want to move there? The smell should be enough to put you off for life.
“Just a glance at that place should tell you everything you need to know about it – I’m baffled by anyone who voluntarily tries that place, never mind those who keep going back for more. It’s an unclear, sticky mess, and the relocation plans aren’t much better.”
The two diametrically opposed groups within Unilever are seeking to find some middle ground, but with Brexit looming, experts have advised that infighting should be the yeast of their worries.
