Hungarian anti-Semitism perfectly lovely, say Tory MEPs

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Although the Conservatives have been lambasting the Labour party over its perceived failure to deal with pernicious antisemitism, their MEPs in Strasbourg have declared that Victor Orban’s constant recycling of Jew-hating tropes was absolutely fine with them.

Simon Williams, a Tory MEP and gout sufferer, explained to reporters that Jeremy Corbyn standing idly by while people in the same room said bad things about Israel was infinitely worse than the Hungarian Prime Minister’s paranoid rants about “Soros and his people”.

He went on, “It’s completely different. Jeremy Corbyn is solely responsible for every vile deed and word of everyone he is remotely connected to. We demand that he spend every waking moment denouncing Ken Livingstone and not focus on wiping us out at the next General Election.

“But Victor is just being bombastic when he puts up statues of a Nazi collaborator who helped deport half a million Jews.

“When he says Christian culture is under attack he’s just worried about kosher or halal goulash. You can’t hold a head of state to the same standards expected of a backbench MP in the eighties.”

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Off the record, a Foreign Office insider said that supporting populist loudmouths in Europe was part of a desperate strategy to shore up support over Brexit.

They told us, “Basically, everyone in Europe who can read without moving their lips thinks we’re tossers who deserve to spend a few decades bartering family heirlooms for potatoes.

“Salvini and Orban are the only people willing to help us who don’t have neck tattoos and a collection of Wehrmacht memorabilia.

“We can’t afford to be picky.”