TV psychic Sally Morgan has been added to the line up of ‘celebrities’ being confined to the Big Brother house in order to help them get in touch with their much loved but long-expired careers.
It is hoped that the ageing TV medium and psychic might be able to pull her usual trick of making up some bullshit for the more gullible housemates and convince them that their dead careers are back within reach again, all for the amusement of millions of sneering viewers.
Senior producer Simon Williams explained, “Obviously the whole ‘medium’ thing is a load of old shite – hence why Sally has found herself in this Z-list celebrity hell hole of a spectacle in the first place.
“But some of her housemates might be naïve enough and stupid enough to believe she has genuine powers to talk to the dead, and that she might be able to help them get in touch with their entirely lifeless careers.
“The death of a career is a tragic event in any celebrity’s life, and like any self-respecting broadcaster, we certainly won’t be passing up the opportunity to let our viewers revel in their grief.
“Which should make for some very amusing television, especially when the housemates realise there is no hope whatsoever for them and break down live on TV. That’s what we’ll be hoping for, naturally. Some sort of on-air breakdown is great for ratings.”
Critics have pointed out that this plan relies on the public being aware of the so-called celebrities, or at least having heard of them.