The Mad Max films are now part of the national curriculum.
Following reports that the government definitely isn’t stockpiling food but is keeping ten times more of it knocking about than usual, everybody has taken that as a sign that the fight for water, food and fuel will be on as of March, 2019.
“By the time these kids finish compulsory education, getting a job will be the least of their worries,” confirmed education minister, Simon Williams.
“Of greater concern will be finding shelter, keeping warm and scavenging enough food and water to survive the night.
“So we’re making them watch all of the Mad Max films – even that weird Tina Turner one.”
Jay Cooper, 14, said, “I’ve already practised whittling a shiv out of a table leg.
“Mum was a bit pissed off that I’d ruined the dining table, but I explained it was for the greater good and she nodded sagely before going out to buy more tinned goods for our panic room.”