The government has announced that post-Brexit blue passports will be edible in an attempt to address food shortages after we leave the EU.
After Brexit minister Dominic Raab told reporters that food stockpiling will take place in the case of a hard Brexit, officials have been quick to point out that the government will do everything it can to ensure the nation’s stomachs remain full.
A Whitehall official told us,”Millions of people are already delighted that we are bringing back the iconic blue passport, but what they don’t know yet is that they will be even better than before.
“Our new blue passports will come in a range of flavours and be almost five-hundred calories should you need an emergency meal.
“The default flavour will be ‘nostalgic milk and honey’, much like the land we promised to lead you towards. But we will also make them available in cheese & onion and Beef flavour, so you can reminisce over the times you used to be able to eat those types of foods.”
Brexit supporter Simon Williams told us, “See? You Remoaners never thought this country could be creative enough to survive Brexit, yet here we are demonstrating British ingenuity by solving two problems at once.
“What other nation has edible passports? None of them, that’s who. Because once again we’re leading the world with our British innovation.
“And you haven’t heard the best bit yet, the new blue passports are going to be embedded with added vitamin C in the cover pages so we don’t get scurvy.