Brexiters reveal new ‘Dig For Victory’ campaign

author avatar by 6 years ago

Some ‘digging for victory’ may be required to ensure an adequate supply of food after Brexit, the government has announced today.

Dominic Raab, this week’s Minister for Brexit and newly relieved of the responsibility of handling negotiations after Theresa May worryingly said she would do it all herself, has decided to focus on ensuring a reliable food supply after leaving the EU next year.

“In the event of a no deal Brexit it is vital that we are left with enough food to go around the millions of hungry mouths across the country,” he told reporters yesterday.

“When one hundred per cent of the British population voted to leave the EU they knew that starvation was a potential side effect, but obviously we would like to avoid that, if at all possible.

“So from next April we will be launching our all-new, never seen before ‘Dig For Victory’ campaign, which will encourage anyone with so much as a strip of dirt outside their house to grow their own produce, leading us to victory against our cruel foes inside the European Union.

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“The heartless EU will doubtless mock us with their cheap food that we will no longer be able to easily import, but we will have the last laugh with potatoes growing on every grass verge.”

He added, “We will show them who is victorious!”

Smug putrescent TV host Piers Morgan responded with delight, saying “This is terrific.

“Who knew that one of the many Brexit dividends would be that you will get to spend more time in your garden, eh?”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!