Water on Mars already better than in most Spanish hotels

author avatar by 5 years ago

The European Space Agency has announced that water on Mars is already of a better quality than you’d get from a tap in any Spanish hotel.

Analysis from the ESA’s Marsis radar instrument showed that liquid water surviving below the surface of the planet contains absolutely no trace of human excrement.

An ESA spokesperson said, “This is a significant discovery.  The water we’ve found has been floating around space for millions of years on what might be a dead rock, yet it contains not a drop of shit or piss from a poorly-constructed European sewage works.

“Someone actually had a glass of water from a Spanish villa complex – as a comparison – but it got labelled incorrectly, and for the briefest moment we thought we’d discovered poo monsters on Mars.  We have a laugh about that now.”

The discovery of clean-ish water on Mars is set to save space exploration missions billions of dollars on future projects.

“We had expected to invest billions in water filtration systems for future space programmes,” continued the spokesperson.

“But the simple fact is that if an astronaut can survive a fortnight in Benidorm without catching dysentery, then their guts can take anything the water from Mars has to offer.”

Comparisons between the quality of water on Mars and that found in a so-called civilised European country have been called ‘unfair’ by some scientists.

An unnamed ESA laboratory technician told us, “Yes, it’s really not fair to compare the two of them.

“One is a desolate inhospitable place where only the truly brave few will ever dare to venture and is best studied from afar, while the other one is in space.”