FIFA unveils VARVAR system to review controversial VAR decisions

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Following a spate of controversial Video Assistant Referee decisions at the World Cup, FIFA has unveiled VARVAR – a Video Assistant Referee Video Assistant Referee system, whereby a referee in a remote location watches a video feed of the VAR room and is able to review and overrule any game-changing VAR decisions.

FIFA spokesman Simon Williams said, “VAR was introduced to eliminate poor refereeing decisions that could alter the outcome of a match.

“Clearly that was bollocks.

“But VARVAR will change all that. We’re going to use the latest video technology so that the VARVAR referee can see what’s happening in the VAR room from multiple camera angles, and will be able to rewind and replay the video in slow motion to review the VAR decision, and overrule it if necessary.

“For instance, the VAR referee might not have had a good angle on the screen he was watching – he might have been leaning to one side a bit when ruling on an offside decision – the latest chair-line technology will highlight that and the VARVAR referee would overrule it.

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“Or the VAR referee might have accidentally switched to EastEnders and just randomly decided to give Portugal a penalty when asked by the actual referee. Again, the VARVAR referee would be able to spot that on a replay.

“Or those Tunisia defenders grappling Harry Kane to the ground – VARVAR would have picked up the fact that the man in the VAR room was actually an all-in wrestling referee dressed in a mask and cape.”

When quizzed about what to do about controversial VARVAR decisions, Williams revealed that FIFA were working on VAR3, or VARCEPTION – a ‘Supreme Court’ of VAR whereby every single refereeing decision from the coin toss onwards is passed up a chain of Video Assistant Referees until a final decision is reached, or it is time for the next World Cup to kick off, whichever comes first.