Everyone allowed to go to work in their pants this week

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Employers all over the UK are letting staff come to work in their underwear during this week’s heatwave.

With temperatures reaching over 30 degrees in some parts of the country, employers large and small will be adopting a ‘clothes amnesty’ whereby everyone can turn up to work in just their pants and – where relevant – bras.

All major unions have welcomed the scheme, with many self-employed traders also following suit. However, some commentators have suggested that many workers will be far too self-conscious to take up the opportunity of trouser-free working.

A spokesperson for the National Union that Defends Everyone (NUDE) said, “We actually anticipate the take-up of in-pant working to be very high.

“Most people have a point at which it gets so hot that they don’t care if their genitals are broadcast to the nation on primetime BBC 1. They just want some sort of relief from the relentless oven-level temperatures.”

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Software engineer Simon Williams – who normally goes to work in his pants – isn’t happy with the new rules and claims they don’t go far enough.

“It’s far too hot for pants,” he said. “What are the sweatiest areas of the body on a hot day? I’m sure I speak for many when I say it’s the arse crack and bollocks.

“I appreciate that total nudity would be considered obscene by some people, but it makes far more sense for us to be allowed to go pants-free but to have to wear a shirt or something.

“I’m sure that would dramatically increase workplace productivity.”