Corbyn wants “incontrovertible evidence” that it’s raining before he’ll put a coat on

author avatar by 6 years ago

Jeremy Corbyn wants to see “incontrovertible evidence” of rainfall before he will accept that is the reason he is getting wet.

The Labour leader conceded that the water falling from the sky looked a lot like rain, but insisted “absolute” proof that it was raining is needed before he will put a coat on.

“It’s right that we ask questions and investigate why I’m getting wet, but we need to be careful before throwing around words like ‘rainfall’ or ‘precipitation’. We need to be 100% certain that is the cause,” said Corbyn, standing in a thunderstorm, with water dripping off the end of his nose.

“I’m not denying there is water falling out of the sky, that is not in question, but we must be assured of the source of the rain before taking action.

“Donning waterproof clothing is a big step, and one that cannot be taken lightly if there is any doubt whatsoever,” continued the increasingly damp Leader of the Opposition, while those around him headed for cover to escape the downpour.

“I’m as ready and willing as anybody to take appropriate action as soon as I’m confident that I’m in possession of all of the facts,” he concluded, with his sodden beard stuck to his face and hair matted across his head.

He is, however, not the only one who for whom the topic of rain is causing problems.

Theresa May has come under fire from many within her own party after using an umbrella without getting parliamentary approval first.